Gringoes.com: Brazilian girl turns my life around

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Esprit
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Joined: 28 January 2010
Location: Brazil
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Posts: 315

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 13:46

Originally posted by Squiddie

... I am an intellectual inside-out. But what I feel I have been lacking is not intellectual stimulation. I am longing for emotional connection, physical closeness, and fun, like listening to music together, dancing together. ... but I really would like to hear some more evidence, anecdotal evidence, shared stories of how these relationships have worked out or have failed. ...I really would like to hear first hand real-life experience. Thanks so much!

As a self-confessed intellectual, and one obviously wholly inexperienced in normal relationships, surely this explains to you the ongoing success of the oldest profession. The male of the species is often confounded by the penis when it partially diverts cerebral blood circulation thereby preventing judicious thought especially when she is using the reverse psychology you describe. True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. I would suggest that such imperfection you may find will negate your naive aspiration.

Yet another consideration is of course the likely discrimination that will inevitably occur with your friends and family and, importantly, business associates too. People are judgmental and you will not be able to dance away from this.

On reflection, if this is not spam, are you perhaps a writer attempting to gain some background insight for a bodice bursting beach novel? How about proposing some titles?

Esprit

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globetrotter
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Joined: 24 January 2006
Location: Brazil
Online Status: Online
Posts: 924

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 13:56

Originally posted by Esprit

This is true. I used to get looks which I thought were because I am older than my girlfriend. However, a Brazilian female friend told me that it was because I am a white gringo and she is a black Brazilian. My friend (who is also black and is with a white gringo of her own age) said she gets the same looks. People assume that the girlfriend is either a hooker or the empregada. Mind you, she is very elegant in both dress sense and posture, and quite well-spoken so no-one would know that she was from a poorer background.

We visited the UK last year and there was no discrimination at all from friends or family. I was particularly impressed that no-one talked to her THROUGH me... they spoke directly with her and I was on the peripheral translating for them both (She speaks very little English).

Originally posted by Esprit

On reflection, if this is not spam, are you perhaps a writer attempting to gain some background insight for a bodice bursting beach novel? How about proposing some titles?

I hope not - I'm 20,000 words into writing one myself !!!

Edited by globetrotter - 28 June 2010 at 14:02

- Greg

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Brazilian women may not ALL be beautiful - but there would appear to be fewer ugly ones!

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Dom Pedro
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Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Brazil
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Posts: 241

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 14:12

Originally posted by globetrotter

However, a Brazilian female friend told me that it was because I am a white gringo and she is a black Brazilian. My friend (who is also black and is with a white gringo of her own age) said she gets the same looks. People assume that the girlfriend is either a hooker or the empregada.

True for Rio and up north. Also the "looks" she will be getting will be from someone of her own ilk.

Edited by Dom Pedro - 28 June 2010 at 14:13

First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin....
Leonard Cohen

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zerotres
Senior Member

Joined: 17 March 2008
Location: Brazil
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Posts: 462

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 14:15

Originally posted by Squiddie

Can one really get bored in one relationship of just making each other feel good?

Absolutely. Just give it time.

This. Seriously. This:

Originally posted by andrewfroboy

There is a much bigger cultural gap between the Brazilian middle class and the Brazilian poor than between the US/European middle class and the Brazilian middle class.

I have an Australian friend here who met a 'wonderful' poor, black girl when he first got here. Turns out she was a garota de programa and had "scouted" plenty of gringos before him. The problems came when he met a college educated Brazilian and had to dance away from the favelada and into the hands of the educated, middle class girl. He got deported for overstaying, so his problems were solved that way. LOL

But that's just an anecdote, and anecdotes are not evidence, because the one anecdote that you want to hear may be the exception and not the rule. It's human nature to keep searching until you find the one opinion you want to hear, until you find someone that agrees with you and supports you, even if along the way you heard a dozen opinions of the contrary. If that's your mindset right now, then no opinions to the contrary will dissuade you from your goal of being with this girl. I repeat some of those contrary opinions below in the hopes you'll read them again:

Originally posted by flamingringo

You need to wake up man you sound like a little boy with a wild crush. Of course this women is excited about you, she lives in poverty and you coming along gives her the chance to get out of it. Her family will be ecstatic about this aswell especially as you will be also raising her child with her.

The reason she is interested in you is because she thinks you will provide a better standard of living. And from a purely animalistic view this is natural. However she does not want you because of you. You could be any gringo, it doesn't matter.

You have known her for a few days you have only seen her absolute best side. Maybe you shouldn't try to be the knight in shining armor.

Originally posted by Steven

Your post is long on romance but short on details.

The short answer to your question is - No - this will never work.

My own situation of being married to a well educated Brazilian woman hits rough spots at times simply due to the cultural differences.

Originally posted by RichB

Brasilian girls can be very expert on making you feel special, that you are the only one etc.

"...passionate love..." is again something they are very expert at. Many, many would be the same and once you have experience of Brazil, Brasilian girls, then you would be understanding that it is their way

A Gringo in Olinda

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Squiddie
Groupie
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Joined: 27 June 2010
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Posts: 69

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 14:38

Guys it's fine, I'm not looking for justification. I am looking for truth. Keep the stories coming. I know there are fools falling for a GP. I am not that much of a fool. I would not be so concerned myself if I was one. I am analyzing the heck out of this situation, but it comes to the point where I have to make a bet on how genuine this is in my case. All your comments are appreciated, but your stories of real relationship success or failure are really most valuable to me.

Since you wanted more detail:

I have been with her for 2 nights/days during one week, many hours each time. I have been conversing with her (mostly listening) for 6-8 hours each evening. We spent 2 nights with much gentle and passionate love, but it wasn't the sex that sparked (actually I have currently a transient medical issue knocking out the little man!) it was this deep connection we both felt.

We have been talking on MSN for a month since then. The ups and downs all happened there. Occasionally I call her up on the phone. We always speak for hours on end. Apart from invoking good memories and some nice expectations, naturally our relationship right now is limited to the mind. Many problems, doubts fears and hopes to mull over. But also we write poetry to each other. She is not stupid.

Edited by Squiddie - 28 June 2010 at 14:39

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Dom Pedro
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Joined: 24 October 2008
Location: Brazil
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Posts: 241

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 15:02

Squiddie - as they say in my country "An exception confirms the rule". If you've made up your mind (and it seems so) on your case being an exception, what do you want from us? If you have a genuine relationship, the stories we tell might erode it. If you already have doubts, there is something in your relationship which is not genuine. It seems that you simply seek for someone's approval.

My advice will be - no matter what will happen it will be your life experience, and no matter how it ends it will enrich you and teach you something about life. Use your mind and your heart will follow.

First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin....
Leonard Cohen

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Squiddie
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Joined: 27 June 2010
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Posts: 69

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 15:06

I have not made up my mind. I am in a process to do so. What I really look for is examples of successful and failed relationships. The truth can not be eroded by truth. How can I tell you that I am not looking for approval. I know I will be going this way without approval, if I go it. I am looking for information, for shared experience. Please? Thanks!

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Esprit
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Joined: 28 January 2010
Location: Brazil
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Posts: 315

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 15:23

Dear God it gets worse! A couple of nights restricted by impotence followed by poetry and soul searching. The women are gonna love this novel because the man is not interested in plunging the depths of her love pudding but rather mind melting into her very essence; getting his gratification from knowing the real woman that yearns to be discovered. In the final chapter the transient medical problem is resolved - doggy fashion.

Of course there could be an alternate ending albeit dramatic like say, ending up a floating corpse wrapped in barbed wire when the father of the child gets out of prison and discovers the love fest. Or the transient problem turns out to be leprosy when everything falls off and the poetry is not enough to sustain the passion.

Esprit

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angejh
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Joined: 30 August 2008
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Posts: 295

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 15:32

Originally posted by Squiddie

I have not made up my mind. I am in a process to do so. What I really look for is examples of successful and failed relationships. The truth can not be eroded by truth. How can I tell you that I am not looking for approval. I know I will be going this way without approval, if I go it. I am looking for information, for shared experience. Please? Thanks!

Sorry if you did say before Squiddie, how did you meet your Brasilian girl?

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Steven
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Joined: 05 April 2006
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 723

Posted: 28 June 2010 at 15:34

There's always something strangely magnetic about fiction. This story of the favela single mom conversing for 6 to 8 hours in English on the telephone or on MSN (really - she has internet too?) is too much to believe.

Unfortunately, although I know that I am wasting my time reading the various responses to the troll there's something irresistible about it.

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Topic: Brazilian girl turns my life around - am I a fool?
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